I'm Sorry
by Songarri0125
Summary: To admit your mistake is a hard thing to do-to atone for it is more difficult. The day has come in which Aura reminds himself of his past deeds, in hopes of making a better future for himself. Although it may be an impossible task, he will still try.


The late summer breeze passed through us as we stood in front of the marble-colored tombstone in silence. I could hear the gentle wind blow against the dark green leaves and feel the blooming flowers from under my feet, but I remained focus on the marked burial. On it were the names of many Pokémon who had since passed on into the next life. Some we knew, some we didn't, but we still felt compelled by paying tribute to them. Even without looking, I could tell that all six of us had mixed feelings for being here: Petalstorm was whimpering with regret, Fireblaze's expression was of pain and sorrow, and Sharpteeth was doing his best not to cry, but tears continued to streak down his face. The others were not doing so well either. Voltclaw's face was blank, but I could tell that she was still trying to come to terms, and Psychomask's eyes were half open and they looked lonely and miserable. As for me, I forced myself to look upon this cursed burial and remind myself of all the things I've done in the past-things I wished to take back, but couldn't.

"Are you sad, Aura?"

I turned behind me to see the golden eyes of Shadowheart. His pale yellow tail with the black marking on the end remained on the ground and was looped tightly around his striped paws. His black-tip bangs covered his right eye and his bronze-colored mane hanged tightly around his neck. I smiled at the eevee to reassure him that I was alright, but it didn't work. He could see right through me.

Shadowheart looked back toward the burial before continuing.

"Does the pain ever go away?" he asked.

I flinched at his question. It ashamed me that Shadowheart could know so much about my past-all of our past-and not look at me as a monster. He knew that this tomb was a grave mark for all the Pokémon who died while encaged by the syndicate. He also knew that I-along with Voltclaw and the others-were a part of that Arceus-awful group; we would capture, imprison, and kill many innocent Pokemon we came across, in an attempt to create an army of Shadow Pokémon to conquer the world. Shadowheart knew all about my mistakes, and yet, voluntarily chose to look up to me like an older brother. It killed me a bit to know that someone as kind as him could ever care for a creature like me.

"Why must you torture yourself like this if the pain never goes away?" Shadowheart continued with his voice innocent.

I faced my former student and friend and told him my reason. "Although the pain will always remain, the reminder will appear; by visiting this place, I remind myself of why I want to better myself."

He looked as though he didn't fully understand what I was trying to say. That was alright with me; I didn't expect him to.

"That's enough, Shadowheart,"

We both turned to see Jolt watching us. She wore a funeral-style hat that slanted downward and a black dress that stretched down to her waist. Her emerald eyes lit up from the setting sun and her elegant smile radiated from across the field.

"There will be no more questions, Shadowheart," she spoke firmly to her baby brother. "Aura has enough to deal with. Now come here."

Shadowheart stared sadly at me before making his way to stand next to her older sister, who also looked sympathetically at me. I nodded toward them.

Standing next to them were the others who volunteered to participate at this anniversary. Standing next to Shadowheart was my long-time friend, Pikachu, accompanied by Glaceon, and his adopted parents, Raichu and Lopunny. On the other side was Pikachu's master, Wiggilytuff, who, too looked sadden for being here. I couldn't blame any of them; it was painful enough to be standing here.

"Greetings, Aura."

I looked up in surprise. Standing over me was the only Pokémon to give me a second chance at life-the same Pokémon who knew of my past misdeeds and gave me the courage to move forward and make up for what I had done.

"Master Lucario." I whispered.

He looked solemnly at me with his ruby eyes, and I almost thought to have detected a trace of understanding. I turned my head away in embarrassment. The way he looked at me made my heart ache with guilt at how I used to be. I was almost expecting him to criticize me, but instead, I heard nothing. I opened my eyes to see him staring blankly into the open air-at complete nothingness. I turned in the direction he was facing and saw the tombstone marking all the Pokémon to have died. Instantly, memories from my past returned, and I watched in horror as my previous actions began to turn forward with each passing minute; and with each memory I saw, I felt bile beginning to build itself up from inside of me and I urged myself to escape from this place.

That was, until, Lucario stopped me in my tracks with a single glare.

"Don't run away!" he growled between his fangs. I flinched at his command, but still I obeyed.

His voice became smoother and calmer after a minute had gone by and he was able to continue.

"If you run away, then you won't be able to move forward," he began. "By choosing to run from your past you're choosing to run away from your future; in order to move forward in your life, you must face your fears and conquer it. Remind yourself of your sins and move on."

I couldn't say anything and when I could, it came out as a whisper-if not a whimper. "It's hard."

"So is life." Lucario's words burned deeply into my mind. It was neither comforting, nor hurtful-it was plain and honest.

He understood the pain I was feeling and knew the difficulties I was going through. But he also knew that I couldn't stand by and feel down about myself. He must've felt that I should face my past and conquer it, knowing how painful it can be. With a lift of his paw, he pointed in the direction of where my friends were at and I knew what I had to do. Nodding toward him in thanks, I silently made my way toward the others, who needed me at the moment.

Voltclaw sensed my presence but did not speak. Using her tail, she swept a flower to my feet and I picked it up. It was pale-white flower with black specks that appeared across its body and the lower part of its bottom was the color of violet; in short, it was a funeral-type flower. I thanked her in silence as I took my spot within the group. All around us we were holding the exact same flower and had the same expression plastered onto our faces: regret. It didn't take a mankey to realize that we all felt bad about having to be here. Whether it was out of fear or shame, neither of us felt comfortable standing here.

But he had no choice.

It was a unanimous decision for us to attend this grave one a year as a revelation to better ourselves in the future. Even though we felt ashamed for coming here for all the things we've done to our fellow Pokémon, it was still the right thing to do for them. They deserved that much; and even though it didn't sound like much, we were all committed into trying to make things right.

"Let us begin." I announced.

We were all in agreement.

The sound of whimpering perked my ears up as I caught the sound of the others crying for us. Lopunny's tears were shed as much as a caterpie's and Wigglytuff began wailing; the others remained silent and kept their heads bent in respect; I would have to thank them later. Eventually, everyone's eyes locked onto me and urged me to begin. It made sense, considering that Petalstorm was the one to start five years ago, then Fireblaze, Sharptooth, until it was my turn to give the speech. After inhaling a large sum of air and clearing my mind, I gave the speech:

"We have all gathered here today to pay tribute to the lives that had been lost on that day of the second summer, on that seventh day, six years ago. Those we had known shall be forever missed, and the innocents who bared no name will be honored and be forever mourned. Each of us has come here as an act of penance for the lives that we had destroyed and ruined. Although no amount of atonement can ever make up for the sins we made, for the lives we've taken, for blood we had shed-we come here, now, in hopes of easing the souls who had left this world for a better one.

"As we offer up these flowers, we make a vow to ourselves to never turn back, but to press on with hopes of bettering ourselves and finding forgiveness in ourselves, as we hope that they and Arceus does too."

We bowed our heads in respect and padded slowly toward the tomb. As we stood before the grave mark, I remembered a saying that Psychomask once told me about. He said that as our life goes on, we make choices that may affect those around us-whether for the good or bad. And those choices will bind with us and always remain. What he said was true: our sins would always be remembered, even if we try to change it. So as Petalstorm stepped closer to the grave to place the flower beside it, I took that as an opportunity to make a silent apology to Arceus, my loved ones, and to all those Pokémon, whose lives I destroyed, as well as apologize for the choices I made in the past, the ones will make now, and the ones I will make in the future.

Petalstorm placed her flower next to the tombstone as more tears fell from her face.

_I'm sorry for the things I've done to you; you were so young and didn't know what to do._

Fireblaze came up next and kneeled before the memorial after placing down his flower.

_I'm sorry for making you feel that way, I'm sorry for the tears I made you shed._

Sharpteeth tried desperately not to cry, but it looked as though he was on the losing end.

_While you were sleeping there just wishing for, a way to escape from that caged door._

No one made a single move, out of fear of having to continue.

_I'm sorry for the times I'd turn my head. I'm sorry for the things I would not say._

Voltclaw slowly made her way toward the marking and bowed before it. Although, no one saw it, I could detect small traces of regret, sorrow, and misery escape her dull black mane.

_I'm sorry for the vices I had made. I'm sorry for the prices I had paid._

Psychomask placed his flower next to the tablet and rushed back to us; he obviously didn't want to stay there and think about his wrong-doings.

_I'm sorry for the fact I wasn't aware that you could lose hope and would not show._

All eyes looked toward me, but I paid no attention to them. I walked toward the grave stone and remained still.

_Because I'm on my own like everyday, I'm sorry for the things that I will not say._

I kneeled before it, bowed my head onto the ground, and began to pray in the early tongue of my kind-the ones that I single-handedly massacred.

_Like how you are the best thing in my life, and how I'm glad to call you my kin._

We all remained where we were and kept our heads bowed in silent prayer. Neither one dare spoke, but it was obvious that we felt were thinking the same thing.

_I understand that there's a problem, and I'm not too blind to see._

I was the only one not to move from my spot as the rest began to retreat. I just couldn't…

_All the pain I put you through, even though you would not say._

"Aura," The gentle touch of my beloved Jolt felt its way on my shoulder. When I turned to face her, I was greeted by a pair of emerald green eyes who shone with understanding and kindness.

I couldn't hide it anymore. I couldn't hide the fact that what I've been doing to myself has been tearing at me for a very long time; it was becoming too hard to bear.

"It hurts." I confessed at last.

And just like a mother, she wrapped her paws around my torso in a loving embrace. I never felt such hurt and joy mix inside of me as I felt the touch of my mate.

_If I can't apologize for being wrong, then that's just a shame on me._

"Jolt," I whispered the name of my mate. She looked at me with confusion lingering behind her dazzling irises. It occurred to me that I never had said this to her before, despite the fact that we've been together for quite a while. I felt the need to tell her this to let her know how I really felt; I couldn't move forward unless I did this.

"I'm sorry." I said at last. "Can you ever forgive me for what I've done to you, your family, and to everyone else?"

_I'd be the reason for your pain..._

Jolt looked at me for a moment before responding. I truly feared that she would reject my forgiveness and turn it against me. Instead, she nuzzled her nose onto mine and gave a light purr. She looked at me again and this time, her answer was clear as day.

"I already have."

_And you can place the blame on me. _

_Well, that's it. If you're wondering, then yes. I used a parody from Akon's "sorry, blame it on me." I though it fit the story._


End file.
